Amateur laundering method reported in Daily Mail not good enough to launder £500million: Shehbaz | Pakistan Today

Amateur laundering method reported in Daily Mail not good enough to launder £500million: Shehbaz

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

LAHORE/LONDON – Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) President Shehbaz Sharif has initiated action against a ‘fabricated’ story published by British tabloid Daily Mail, maintaining that the method reported in the piece wasn’t good enough to launder £500million.

Instructing his counsel Salman Butt in London to a prepare a case against the report which he alleged was “planted” by Prime Minister Imran Khan, his aide on accountability Shahzad Akbar and reporter David Rose, Sharif underscored that those who ‘created’ the story clearly have no idea how money laundering works.

“£500million through remittances sent to Pakistan, seriously? Clearly those who planted the story are amateur and novices when it comes to money laundering and do not understand how it works,” Sharif said while talking to The Dependent.

“Maybe a few hundred thousand quid, but you really can’t launder half a billion pounds through the remittance to family mechanism. The idea reeks of small business mentality and whoever has come up with it will never be successful in the laundering industry,” he added.

However, the PML-N president reiterated that while he feels sorry for the entrepreneurial skills of ‘those who planted the story’ what is crucial is that the failed mechanism illustrated in the report is good enough to prove his innocence.

“All we need to do is show them how £500million are actually laundered. Their case would fall flat. It’s an open and shut case,” Sharif said.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.