(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
An emotional prime minister said on Friday that with a passing of Tehrik-e-Nifaaz-e-Shariat-e-Muhammadi (TNSM) chief Sufi Muhammad, a voice for peace and enlightenment has finally been silenced.
The peace stalwart was laid to rest in his native Dir on friday, a funeral ceremony that the PM could not attend because of official engagements, a lapse that he said ‘hurt as much as losing the ‘87 World Cup.’
At a time when Sufi Muhammad’ son-in-law Mullah Fazlullah, another social reformer, was being the subject of much undeserved criticism, Imran Khan became the only national leader who went on live television to say that the Taliban weren’t violent in Swat and rumours of throats being slit were ‘government propaganda.’
True to their leader’s vision, PTI leaders also started spiritedly pushing the narrative that the ANP leaders were killing themselves in order to discredit the Nightingale of Peace Sufi Muhammad. “Rest well, my gentle giant,” said President Arif Alvi, who did attend the funeral.