(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Just days after confiscating a hefty quantity of heroin from PML-N’s senior leader MNA Rana Sanaullah’s car, the Anti-Narcotics Force (ANF) today seized a deadly nerve agent from opposition leader and PML-N president Shahbaz Sharif’s motor convoy on the Lahore-Islamabad motorway.
In its FIR against Sharif the ANF mentioned that the convoy was intercepted as it was on its way to the capital, to launch a catastrophic attack on the National Assembly, releasing the nerve agent through the ventilation system of the building. It went on to say that as soon as Sharif was approached and questioned by the ANF officer in-charge of the operation, the suspect immediately gave up the nerve agent vile he was carrying in his safari suit front pocket.
Speaking exclusively with The Dependent DG ANF Major-General Arif Malik explained that we were tipped off about the imminent attack, planned to take place as soon as the entire opposition walked out during the a particular NA session, in order to permanently topple the government. “Information, a little luck and of course our undoubted skill made it possible to preempt and stop the attack”.
When asked if the ANF also found a vaporizer necessary to aerolise (converting to gas to spread) the deadly nerve agent, the DG ANF said perhaps you’ve seen Batman Begins too many times, perhaps there is something in the hood of your car, maybe we take a walk to the parking lot?