(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
The federal government has decided to formally legalise and tax the contraband alcohol and ‘gabrahat’ markets. The decision has come in the context of the record revenue shortfall of the current fiscal year.
“It was a tough decision, of course, but we had to do it,” said Minister of State for Revenue Hammad Azhar. “Both these items were banned. One, through the Prohibition Act and later the Hudood Ordinance; and the other, through a decree by our glorious Prime Minister’s inaugural address.”
“But were still being prolifically used across the expanse of the country,” he continued. “So we decided that we might as well legalise and tax these items so at least the government gets a share of this formerly illicit trade.”
Citizens welcomed the step. “It will also be a relief for the users of said substances,” said Saghir Ghumman. “Instead of going to a seedy bootlegger, we can buy the stuff from a legitimate shop where we know the product will be genuine.”
“Similarly, after censorship against major bad news is lifted from the news media , we can see them on television channels investigated by journalist instead of getting our ‘gabrahat’ from seedy WhatsApp channels.”