(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
FAISALABAD – The nation feeling the wrath of economic turmoil amidst currency devaluation and rising inflation has finally found the cause behind its multi-pronged financial crises.
After much investigation, and government’s revelations, the root of the economic troubles were found in the three-seat sofa placed inside the living room of a lower middleclass man.
Sources within the furniture have revealed that the man, whose name has been concealed for security reasons, and because he exists in multiple human beings across the country, has singlehandedly led to the currency crisis in the country by hiding dollar bills worth $183 inside his sofa cushions.
Sources simultaneously within the sofa set and the Finance Ministry told The Dependent that those $183, found in one dollar bills in this particular case, are representative of all the US currency purchased as investment nationwide is the one propelling the downfall of the national economy.
Sources that manage to coexist within the furniture, the government and the security agencies have further revealed that such sofas, briefcases, cupboards or other containers of US dollars, and their owners, are to be blame for the economic situation, not the rulers.
“And it is the previous government that is directly responsible for such sofas,” a leading source revealed before saying the same on a top TV channel.