(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
LONDON – Pakistan fast bowler Mohammed Amir on Wednesday appreciated the Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) and England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) for staging an entire series just so that he could find a place in the squad for the upcoming World Cup.
Talking exclusively to The Dependent after rain washed away the first ODI between England and Pakistan at the Oval, Amir acknowledged the efforts being put in by the cricket board, the selection committee, the team management, former captains and cricket experts to help him get into the 15-man Pakistan squad for the World Cup.
“If I had put in 5% of the effort that everyone else is putting in me, I would’ve made the squad completely on merit,” Amir said.
“However, given that I have been one of the worst performing bowlers in the world over the past two years, others have to step in to get me into the World Cup squad – because of course how can I not be in the World Cup squad,” he added.
The left-arm fast bowler specifically acknowledged the ongoing five-match ODI series as a great venture designed for him.
“I mean it makes no sense for me to even be in the 17-man squad for England. How was I picked ahead of Usman Shinwari? Even Wahab Riaz outperformed me in the PSL,” Amir said.
“And even though Junaid Khan has been picked ahead of me for the World Cup, I was selected in the playing 11 for the Oval ODI!” he added.
Amir confessed that with so much effort put in on his behalf, should be fail to do well in the ODI series, it’s obvious what should happen next.
“I’ll get Wasim bhai to say how I’m a match-winner and get another shot during the World Cup warmup matches,” he conclude