(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
The sheer violation of diplomatic protocol shown by the Chinese government to the visiting Pakistani prime minister worsened on Thursday when, only hours after having him received by the deputy mayor of Beijing instead of a far more senior representative of the government, he was made to sit at the children’s table at the state banquet.
“We weren’t expecting Xi Jinping, even though he is his counterpart as head of government,” said a Pakistani Foreign Office source, on the condition of anonymity.
“But we could have had either the Premiere of the State Council received the PM or the Chairman of the Congress. We had to make do, instead, with Deputy Secretary General of the Beijing Municipal Committee.”
“But what really twisted the knife here was him subsequently being seated at the kids’ table at the following banquet,” he said.
“I was feeling so uncomfortable because I myself had gotten a pretty good seat, surrounded by senior government and Party leaders.” “But they were very nice to me, asking me to feel comfortable and not to ‘worry about that,’” he continued.
“They kept on assuring me that he would be well fed and that the menu at the kids’ table was ‘somewhat the same.’”
“I almost couldn’t have my Braised Peking Duck, seeing the Prime Minister nibble on his chicken nuggets and Maggi.”
“Things got much worse later when, in the game of musical chairs that the kids had started playing, the PM insisted he was not ‘out’ when he clearly was, and demanded to be given an extra go at it.”