(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
In a step of magnanimity that is unheard of in Pakistan’s scrappy political scene, the prime minister has decided to award the finance ministry to the opposition party.
“People protested when we did not want to give the chair of the Public Accounts Committee to the leader of the opposition,” said information minister Fawad Chaudhry.
“Well, the reason was not because we were political immature and did not know how to take everyone along.”
“The reason was that we did not sign the Charter of Democracy and that arrangement was not good enough for us,” he said.
“Why give the opposition just the chair of a standing committee? We would rather take many more steps and give them the finance portfolio.”
“We really want to execute our own carefully thought-out and meticulously calculated financial plan, but alas, the prime minister has such a large heart that he has decided to give this sacrifice for the sake of good, parliamentary spirit and camaraderie.”
“If someone still says that the prime minister doesn’t have any grace and good attitude towards the opposition, then I don’t know what to say,” he added.
“Now it is the League that is showing political immaturity,” he said. “Mr Ishaq Dar has been refusing to pick up his telephone all morning.”