(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
The Punjab government, in its ongoing series of police reforms, has set the tenure of the Inspector General of Police at 3 months.
“I find it extremely sad that the press and opposition are presenting this as some sort of incompetence,” said Dr Shehbaz Gill, spokesperson for the government. “Changing three IGPs in eight months was part of the plan all along.”
“We feel things should be kept fresh in the province’s police administration,” he said. “As they say, flowing water can never be dirty. Unless it’s the Ravi. Or any other river in Pakistan.”
“The tenure of three months is a nice little Goldilocks length. Not too long for things to be set in an unproductive groove and not too short to be….to be…hold on, I have a call coming,” said Gill, while speaking to reporters at a press conference at CM’s camp office at 90, The Mall, Lahore.
An association representing the Additional and Deputy Inspectors General, however, have approved of the initiative. “Yes, this short tenure thing is going to work out best for everyone, specially for us, who do the real policing. IG saheb is going to be busy getting used to the place and won’t bother us.”
An association representing the District Police Officers concurred with the aforementioned association but said that the same tenure should also apply to the Deputy Inspectors General. Meanwhile, an association representing SHOs said that the tenure should apply to the DPOs.