(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
KARACHI – The Pakistan Super League does not technically qualify as international cricket, a habitual party-popping moron told the nation on Monday.
Mustafa Sultan, 26, who has been certified as a contrarian douchebag by his family and friends, corrected the nation in the aftermath of the final of the PSL on Sunday, after Karachi successfully hosted eight matches of the tournament which featured some of the biggest international stars of the game.
“PSL is Pakistan’s domestic T20 franchise league and does not count as international cricket. So don’t call PSL the return of international cricket,” Sultan said, even though no one asked for his opinion, or cared for it.
Sources within Sultan’s mind said that the need to correct the nation stemmed from his passion for spoiling others’ happiness.
“He usually doesn’t miss any chance to correct others. But if he finds that someone is wrong and is happy because of it as well, he becomes even more passionate to correct the person,” a voice inside Sultan’s head told The Dependent on strict condition of anonymity.
At press time, Sultan was telling the nation that the footballers participating in the World Soccer Series next month were all retired, past their prime and in it just for the money.
“Also it’s football nor soccer,” the pompous jackass concluded.