(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – After Engro Powergen Thar Limited’s (EPTL) lignite coal power plant in Thar started pumping 330MW of electricity generated by domestic coal into the national grid, Prime Minister Imran Khan reassured the locals that they would be the first recipients of the carbon emissions and other global warming impacts of coal power production.
“Tharparkar is the most backward area of the entire country. But I assure you that the people of Thar will be the first recipients of the coal emissions that are only being produced to the local coal,” Khan said in a Prime Minister House statement on Thursday.
“This is Naya Pakistan and here the locals will be the first beneficiary of whatever is produced from their resources. And hence, the people of Thar will have the first right over the mercury, Sulphur dioxide, Nitrogen oxides and other harmful gases produced by the burning of the coal,” the statement added.
The PM highlighted other byproducts of the Thar coal, which has started adding power to the national grid.
“The air pollution through coal will add to asthma, cancer, heart and lung ailments and neurological problems for the locals,” he said in the statement. “In fact, the resulting acid rain would almost entirely come in the share of the locals.”