(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Prime Minister Imran Khan has said that the admissions to the ghost schools – revealed in an explosive new report on the ghost schools in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa – was done on merit.
“The biased sections of the press focus on things like the presence of ghost schools but not on how on-merit the admissions to those ghost schools were done in the PTI regime,” he said.
“In fact, I would go on to say that this ‘KP model’ should be reimplemented all over the country.”
The study, which surveyed the 25 districts of the province (not including erstwhile Fata districts), revealed that out of the total 93,300 students enrolled in the OOSC program, only 51,798 were physically verified. It means that almost 43,000 were found to be ghost students.
“The first lady has an immense interest in our ghostly citizens and in her last meeting with representatives of the djinn and ghost communities, assured them that ghost children would be adequately adjusted in the province’s school system,” he said.
Analysts, however, believed that the move had political considerations. “It was ghosts who have voted the PTI into power, so it’s just catering to that demographic,” said Dr Hassan Munawwar, professor at the political science department, Quaid-e-Azam University, Islamabad.