(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
The Federal Board of Intermediate and Secondary Education (FBISE), acting upon a directive of the federal government, has taken out the entire calculus portion of the mathematics textbooks of the FSc curriculum and replaced it with Islamic history.
“From now on, the FSc (Part II) book, titled ‘Calculus and Analytical Geometry’, is going to include only analytical geometry,” said Dr Hassan Zaidi, chairman of the FBISE. “The rest is going to be a exploration of our glorious Islamic history.”
“The decision was taken after the prime minister directed the same,” said education minister Shafqat Mehmood. “After this, we will direct the respective regional boards to do the same.”
Asked whether it was necessary to do the same, Mehmood said that the youth are the future of the country and they should be well acquainted with our heritage. “Oue Islamic heritage, not any of that stupas and dancing girl stuff.”
The move is not without its share of critics.
When contacted, renowned science educationalist Dr Fatima Khattak said, “But it’s a maths book. What the hell is wrong with you people?”
Till the filing of this report, an enquiry has been initiated against Dr Khattak and she has been taken into protective custody by the Islamabad police.