(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD/DUBAI – A 37 year old man with a dubious record of thinking for himself that has spanned almost two decades, throughout his adult like, has been put in charge of thinking on behalf of 11 people.
While scientists and statisticians have expressed their bafflement over a decision that tasks a person with 1000% more work of something they’ve failed across 100%, analysts have further pointed out that the data inserted in the research underestimates the actual gravity of the appointment.
“The 11 people, including himself, are just the ones whom the decision of the man in question would impact in the shortest term, let’s not forget that the entire squad includes more such persons,” a prominent analyst said.
“Also, it’s important to highlight that while the man might have been put in-charge of the 11 people plus other members of the squad, such a thinking would impact an entire city – the capital city of the country at that.”
The move has especially been criticised given that it comes when the man’s personal record of struggling to think for himself had been relatively overcome in recent years, even making the man successful in what he does.
“Why, just why, would you do that to him, the other men, and the entire city?” questioned a citizen of the city wearing the same shirt as the man in question.