(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD/RIYADH – Given the history of Saudi Arabia financing radicalism and terror as part of its proxy warfare in the region, the multi-billion dollar deals expected to be signed on the upcoming visit of Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman al-Saud to Pakistan, have generated concerns with regards to Saudi funding militia in the country.
Furthermore, given Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman’s reputation as a ‘liberal’ ruler, there are fears that the Saudi sponsored ideological warfare could result in the spread of radical bikini outfits in Pakistan.
“For decades, we were okay with, actually pretty happy with, the radical outfits that Saudi Arabia spread in Pakistan, because we were in large part in agreement with their goals, and their ideology,” noted the leader of an Islamist party wishing anonymity so as to not offend MBS.
“However, we do not ideologically align with any bikini outfits. In fact members of our party even object to burkini outfits.”
In addition to radical bikini outfits, there are also fears that an MBS led Saudi Arabia could lead to an increase in the proscribed alcohol groups across the country as well. However, Saudi government sources have downplayed these fears.
“Liberal MBS? Don’t worry only those outfits and groups will be allowed to spread that serve the current Saudi interests,” an official told The Dependent.