(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Stepping out of a neon-yellow sports car with a gun and holster strapped to his belt, Federal Minister for Water Resources, Faisal Vawda, reiterated that no, he was absolutely not overcompensating for anything.
Vawda, who had gone out to grab some yogurt and milk on the instructions of his mother, told media persons that he carried the gun with him because it was registered and he always had to be prepared for danger.
“Me? Overcompensating for something? What would I be overcompensating for? It’s not like .. .” he said before losing his train of thought, a vacant expression appearing in his eyes as he shuffled and crossed his legs, looking clearly uncomfortable.
“Whatever, as you can see I am packing” he said patting the gun in the holster he had on his belt, at which point the gun went off since the minister had forgotten to turn on the safety.
While he was thankfully unhurt, the bullet having gone straight to the ground, Vawda did scream like a little girl and had the gun taken away from him by a guard that was there to babysi- accompany him on his important mission.
“We live in a dangerous world, especially me since I have many many enemies – most of whom are just jealous of how much of a big manly-man-man I am” he said, after having recovered from the hysterics that had followed the accidental shooting, as he handed over a thousand rupee note to buy milk products from his local shop.
“Uncle change nahi hai, Ammi nai yahi dia hai” he said, not addressing the media persons.
“Besides, if .. if anything, the um, uh, the car and the guns prove anything but” he said, stumbling over his words, a sheen of sweat appearing on his brow as he tried to divert questions.
“Austerity? Why would this car not be austere? This is my austerest sports car” he said. “Besides, my daddy bought it for me so there’s no corruption involved” he added.