(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Prime Minister Imran Khan was taking for questioning late last night by authorities for participation in a rally of the Pashtun Tahaffuz Movement (PTM) in Islamabad last year.
“They just came in, and said that he needed to accompany them to their facilities for some basic questions about his activities on the 5th of February, 2018, when he had attended the PTM’s rally in front of the press club in Islamabad,” said Muhammad Salahuddin, the PM’s personal head of security at Bani Gala. “When I protested and asked them to show some identification, they slapped me a bit.”
“Seeing this, Khan Saheb immediately agreed to be put in the back of the vehicle that they had brought, on the condition that they don’t hit him as well,” he continued. “After they also started hitting him, Khan Saheb said that his condition had changed and now he would come along on the condition that they don’t hit him too much.”
“After being hit a little too much as well, Khan Saheb said he would not be putting up any conditions, which is when they stopped hitting him,” he said.
Human rights activists across the country condemned the incident harshly and said that the government is showing criminal silence on the issue.
“Imran Khan Niazi is a citizen of the country and has all the rights that the constitution has given him,” said Ammar Ali Jan, a Lahore-based academic and activist.
Civil society activists have started a petition on Change.org and have written to Human Right Minister Dr Shireen Mazari to intervene.