(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Prime Minister Imran Khan on Friday reiterated his government’s intention to depoliticise the bureaucracy. “Years of political interference has rendered the federal and provincial bureaucratic cadres completely inept,” he said, while speaking at a meeting of the Task Force on Civil Service Reforms.
He also expressed a similar desire to depoliticise the national political scene. “Too much political interference has also completely destroyed the political arena. Just no professionalism here,” he said. “Too many politicians spoiling the political class.”
“There should be no bureaucrats held back by political interference” he said. “No bureaucrat should be held hostage to political dictat. Similarly there should be no politicians.”
“There is a unanimity of opinion of the different stakeholders, that is, the establishment and the deep state, that this politicisation has to be reversed,” he said. “And good riddance to the…..”
The prime minister trailed off, with a contemplative expression on his face, after which he called an unspecified number through his secure line. “…so at least a smattering of politicians will be left, right?”
“Not even that, huh? Just me, then,” he asked.
“Just me then?” he repeated frantically. “Hello, hello HELLO?”