President Alvi urges LEAs carrying out extrajudicial killings to improve their strike rate | Pakistan Today

President Alvi urges LEAs carrying out extrajudicial killings to improve their strike rate

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

ISLAMABAD – The President of Pakistan Dr Arif Alvi, while watching the pivotal events unfolding in front of him last Sunday, urged the Law Enforcement Agencies (LEAs) carrying out extrajudicial killings in the country to improve their strike rate.

Taking to Twitter, the President shared his views on the LEAs failure to secure the winning streak in extrajudicial killings exercised with complete immunity.

Moments after social media expressed shock and anger over the event that the entire nation was focused on, President Alvi tweeted: “One of our shooters was too slow for a sniper and our authorities could not shush up the matter.”

President Alvi was lauded on social media throughout the week for his expert analysis on the matter, which was made all the more significant by the timing of his tweet.

“The tweet shows that President Alvi understands the game perfectly well. I don’t think anyone could’ve explained better what needed to be done so as to ensure that there is no uproar against the events,” tweeted a prominent influencer.

“This also shows that the current government is so versatile and has expertise in even those matters that they aren’t qualified for,” another influencer wrote on Facebook.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.



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