(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
NOT AMERICA – A leading social media survey conducted by the think-tank ‘Down With America’, revealed that a whopping 89% of the people outside of America who found out about Maroon 5’s horrendous show at the halftime of Super Bowl XXXVIII in their Facebook feeds weren’t aware of at least one of Maroon 5 or Super Bowl.
The survey entitled ‘Just How F***ing Americanised Are You’ further revealed that of the 11% who did know either of the two, 94% were aware of Maroon 5.
“94% of the 11% were able to link Maroon 5 to music, while only 5% were those that either knew both Maroon 5, and only 1% were those that only knew what Super Bowl was.”
Among those who knew what Super Bowl is, 84% were able to only connect it to sports, another 15% could also connect it to American football, while only 1% could name the two National Football League sides competing in the game. Not a single participant among the millions of non-Americans surveyed could tell the final score of Super Bowl XXXVIII.
The Dependent’s investigations have revealed that every single one of the non-Americans questioned for the survey showed an inclinations towards finding out what the hell Maroon 5 and Super Bowl are