Afghan peace process should be free from Afghan influence, Pakistan cautions | Pakistan Today

Afghan peace process should be free from Afghan influence, Pakistan cautions

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

The Pakistan Foreign Office, while welcoming the developing Afghan peace process, has raised caution over the possibility of the exercise being hijacked by Afghans. “The Pakistani government is enthusiastic about playing a role in the upcoming peace process,” said Dr Muhammad Faisal, Foreign Office Spokesperson said on Friday, while speaking at a press conference.

“But we would still like to caution all sides about the possibility Afghan influence in the entire process.”

“The US and and we, I mean the Taliban, should no doubt carry on the arduous task of negotiations, and God knows there is plenty that these two sides need to thrash out,” he continued.

“But these should be in accordance with the hopes and aspirations of Washington and ‘Pindi.”

“In the terrible years preceding these peace talks, there was unfortunately a growing influence of the Afghans,” he said.

“The Taliban have to be commended by engaging them head-on and also the US, who are the ones that have delivered the final finishing blow themselves.”

“Hopefully we have seen the end of the miscreant network calling itself the Republic of Afghanistan.”

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.



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