(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION – In a promotional video released on Tuesday, blurred leaders of the Haqqani Network endorsed Pakistan’s new visa policy.
The jihadist network reiterated that the country’s policy of announcing e-visas and visa on arrival will facilitate many who want to visit Pakistan without facing unnecessary hurdles and undue restrictions.
“Pakistan’s new visa policy is great for travel convenience,” a Haqqani Network leader says in the video wearing a black mark to cover his face. “And we say this as recipients of travel lenience and eased visa policies for almost four decades.”
The leaders of the Haqqani Network confirmed that the released video was a part of their attempt to boost tourism in the country that had given them so much over the years.
“Visitors availing Pakistan’s e-visa or visa on arrival can enjoy its great diversity,” said another Haqqani Network leader whose face is blurred in the video. “Those have already availed this relaxed policy include groups from a diverse array of regions like the Middle East, Afghanistan, Central Asia, and East Turkestan known popularly and erroneously as Xinjiang,” he added.
The video concludes with the Haqqani Network leadership lauding Pakistan’s renowned hospitality.
“They will make you feel at home, and will protect you even if it they themselves have to pay the price for it,” another leader is heard saying as credits roll.