Saqib Nisar demands to be let back in after family ‘accidentally’ locks him out of residence | Pakistan Today

Saqib Nisar demands to be let back in after family ‘accidentally’ locks him out of residence

Former Chief Justice of the Supreme Court Saqib Nisar has demanded an immediate re-entry into his residence after he was mistakenly locked out.

“This is no way to treat a former Baba Rehmata,” he said, while speaking to himself in an extremely sparsely attended press conference.

“I suspect foul play here and would investigate completely once I am back inside.” “Why do I think this is not a mere accident and, in fact, the result of some nefarious hanky-panky,” he asked rhetorically.

“Because there has been a precedence to this. On several occasions last year, I have been locked out in this manner from my residence at the Judicial Enclave in Islamabad.”

“On all those occasions, I had told my family that I would like to deliver a speech to them about dams, politics, the length of ladies’ skirts and the progress that China has made, right after I come back from a quick cigarette break. I have been locked out on all these occasions.”

“I have to step out because Mrs. Nisar doesn’t allow smoking inside the house, but I think she is also the one who also won’t allow me inside the house,” he thought out loud.

“Or is it one of my children, I don’t know. Perhaps it is Abdul Shafiq, the cook, who doesn’t like me telling him I can cook better than him.”

“Perhaps you members of the press could also play a role in assisting me to get back in,” he told the three journalists present, which was met with a muted response.

“Uncle we are here just to get our ball back,” said Usman “Mani” Butt. “Please.”

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.