(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
JOHANNESBURG – Following another convincing defeat at the hands of South Africa, captain Sarfraz Ahmed has put the onus on the bowlers, and more specifically their speed, for the dire straits that the Pakistani Test side finds itself in.
Talking to The Dependent after the defeat at Newlands, Sarfraz said that the Pakistani fast bowlers need to be much quicker.
“The speed of our fast bowlers should at least be more than the speed with which our batsmen get out,” the captain of the national side said.
“And since that is clearly not the case, it’s obviously the bowlers who are not doing their job properly and are responsible for our struggles.
“Just look at how well South Africa did in the department. Their fast bowlers definitely bowled faster than their batsmen got out.”
Sarfraz also took the moment to remind his detractors that he is not a bowler.
“In fact, I am the last person who can be called a bowler in the team and so I’m the least to blame,” he said.
The skipper expressed hope that Pakistani fast bowlers would do better in the upcoming ODI series.
“With the fifty over cushion, I think the speed of bowlers and batsmen should be okay.”