(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – After realising that granting of licenses to the royal families from the Middle East for hunting houbara bustards is yet another thing that they had condemned the previous government for, the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf (PTI) government has decided to offer incentives for hunting down its leaders’ past contradictory tweets.
Sources confirm that the greatest of these incentives is the houbara hunting license which is worth hundreds of thousands of US dollars.
“We can’t let this go on forever, of course. It’s outrageous and absolutely needs to stop to ensure self-respect and integrity,” said Federal Information Minister Fawad Chaudhry while talking to The Dependent.
“If it’s not the IMF, it’s the Middle East, relations with India, accountability, human rights – this keeps happening. We absolutely need a thorough cleansing of the past tweets of the party’s leadership, which contradict the present positions.”
Chaudhry further revealed that there are numerous tweets that the PTI leadership has already deleted.
“It’s not as though we aren’t going back and deleting the tweets. My famous ‘Pasha daddy’ tweet against PM Imran Khan for instance. There are just so many of those tweets that we really have to outsource them to a large team,” he added.
“That’s why we are going to give the houbara hunting license to those can do this job and ensure such tweets are extinct.”