(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Hot on the heels of obtaining pre-arrest bail, Lahore’s influential Khokhar brothers have occupied five cells adjoining the jail cell they were going to be kept in, had they been arrested.
“In all my years in service, I have never seen anything like this,” said jail superintendent Siddiq Baloch.
“Though they have obtained pre-bail arrest, they made the papers show that they had been imprisoned and were the residents of Cell Number 256.”
“After that, they somehow managed to convince the residents of 253, 254 and 255 to somehow sell them the cells. When those inmates said they didn’t own the cells and were merely prisoners, the Khokhar brothers asked them not to worry and that ‘they will handle all the paperwork,’” he said.
“After that, armed musclemen in the employ of the Khokhars, who also happen to be jail employees, forcibly evicted inhabitants of Numbers 257 and 258, following which there was a lavish dinner for everyone concerned, a dance competition and a performance by Nida Chaudhry and Deedar herself.”
“I must concede it was quite a grand affair,” said Baloch.
“When I went back to my office, I wasn’t let in by yet more employees of the Khokhars, whom I now work for.”