(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
LAHORE – Police have launched investigation after Pakistan batsman Ahmad Shahzad late Wednesday night stated that he was hit by a car while returning from the gym.
Sharing the news on his official Twitter handle, Shahzad wrote: “This evening as I was returning home from the gym I was hit by a car … currently am at the police station filing a complaint about a “hit and run.”
Police sources have informed The Dependent that probe was launched early Thursday morning into Shehzad’s claim that he a gym membership.
“He has often been unfit, and clearly doesn’t showcase the fitness levels required in the modern game,” an investigating officer said. “Having said that, we are approaching the case with an open mind, with the understanding that all outcomes are possible.”
When asked what was being done about Shehzad’s “hit and run” claim another senior officer claimed that’s something the entire nation wants to know.
“He never hits and run, does he?” the officer said. “He’s been playing for a decade and still doesn’t know how to hit it in the gap and just run between the wickets,” he added.
“Maybe that’s because of a lack of fitness. Hence our probe into claims of gym membership.”