(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
The Pakistan Muslim League (N) has planned a series of protests across the country against the appointment of former Panama Joint Investigation Team head Wajid Zia as the jail doctor of leader of opposition Shehbaz Sharif.
Zia, a Grade-21 officer of the police, was serving as an assistant director at the FIA.
“This is clearly a violation of all rules and protocols,” said Maryam Aurangzeb, while speaking at a press conference. “Do we even need to explain this?”
“This is typical of the former government to just keep protesting,” said information minister Fawad Chaudhry, while speaking to reporters at the drawing room of Wajid Zia. “They just want their own, blue-eyed boys as civil servants, no one else.”
“Wajid Zia is a fine officer, who has directed the Panama investigations well. They hated him because honest reporting went against the interests of the Sharif family,” he said.
Responding to the fact that Zia wasn’t even a doctor, the information minister said: “Oh, so they want a fancy, medical-college-educated doctor now? Specially at a time when a lot of people go to quacks all over the country.”
“Mr Wajid Zia has had many hours logged in browsing through WebMD and that should be enough,” he said.