(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
LAHORE – Pakistan are set to announce the largest winner’s trophy in the history of sports, while simultaneously confirming the greatest sponsorship agreement in cricket, The Dependent has reliably learnt.
The new Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) regime is currently working on the design for the trophy for the next Pakistan hosted series, with the board hopeful that it would be able to unveil it in the March series against Australia.
Sources have confirmed that after the tremendous success of the Tuc and Oye Hoye trophies, the next winner’s trophy would be a giant billboard depicting the sponsor’s product.
“We felt after the two most recent trophies, we just needed to make it bigger. So we thought, hang on, why not make it the biggest?” said a PCB official.
Another official confirmed that not only would the billboard be presented to the winning captain after the series, while being lifted by two cranes on either side of the presentation ceremony, the trophy would come with a card swiping machine that would be able to complete transactions via both debit and credit cards.
“We will have an online portal attached as well for online banking transactions,” confirmed the official. “This would of course best serve the purpose of why sponsors have their names on sports trophies anyway.”