(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – President Arif Alvi on the occasion of International Human Rights Day on Monday urged the nation to stay positive and tackle the exploitation and marginalisation of the current government, Radio Pakistan reported.
In his message, the president said that there is a strong need to raise awareness about the number of humans in Pakistan, which he boasted was the sixth highest in all of the world.
President Alvi said that his government will ensure that through its vision Pakistan breaking into the top five becomes a reality.
“Brazil isn’t too far away from us,” the President reminded the nation. “If we continue to work hard we will catch Brazil and break into the top five. And if we pull up our socks and work harder, we would soon have Indonesia in our sights as well.”
Further, talking about the human rights situation in the country, Federal Minister for Human Rights Shireen Mazari reiterated that having over 200 million people in the country gave Pakistan the edge.
“Even if each Pakistani on average is given 33% of their rights, cumulatively Pakistan would have more human rights than 90% of the world,” she said while talking to The Dependent.
“For example, at 33% Pakistan would have six times more human rights than Sweden, given that we have 20 times more humans than them – even if Sweden gives its citizens 100% of the rights,” she added.