(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer)
Acclaimed wildlife documentarians National Geographic are set to make a documentary in Pakistan on the fascinating N Leaguers that are still not under custody of the National Accountability Bureau or other law enforcement agencies.
“Those that still exist in the wild are a fascinating set of creatures to observe,” said Friedrich Kettlebaum, lead zoologist. “We are arriving in Pakistan early next month before all of them are captured and we are unable to observe them in their natural habitat.”
Though the species is found all over the country, it is found mainly in central and northern Punjab. The recent spate of incarcerations, sped up by the government, is being thought of as risking the extinction of the species to begin with.
“They are dangerous for the country, regardless of what the electorate might think,” said information minister Fawad Chaudhry. “We can’t take any risks; they need to be under custody.”
“If they go extinct in the process, then so be it,” he added.
Scientists, however, say that risk of extinction are remote. “It’s counter-productive,” says Dr Shiela Sanders of the Harvard Centre of Political Zoology. “Unless the entire eco-system is uprooted, captivity will not kill off the species. If anything, it will proliferate.”