(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
RAWALPINDI – Imprisoned veteran journalist and living judgement day forecast department Dr Shahid Masood on Tuesday accepted Time magazine’s ‘Person of the Year Award’ with trademark humility.
Talking exclusively to The Dependent, Dr Shahid Masood thanked Time magazine, which called this year’s imprisoned and killed journalists as its “Person of the Year,” on Tuesday morning.
“Originally they just wanted to put my name and pic on the cover. They even begged me to not be so selfless,” Dr Masood said. “But I was adamant that I want all my fellow professional journalists who have been imprisoned, like me, for daring to speak the truth.”
Dr Masood, who is currently serving a 14-day judicial remand for snatching another journalist’s mobile, reiterated that ‘fake news’ remains a major challenge for global journalism.
“One can no longer make up supernatural boohoo – trust me – because of the crackdown on fake news,” he said. “Journalists in Pakistan are now being forced to create news that is in accordance with the law of physics.”
Dr Masood believes his arrest is also owing to his crackdown against fake news.
“All I did was delete all the fake news that the journalist had compiled against me, including fake company names and agreements,” he said.