(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Speaking at a press conference at the headquarters of the Militaire Relations Publique, French army Chief Général d’armée Jean-Pierre Bosser Macron said that the role of the media was critical in this time of Fifth Generation Warfare.
“For six months, show France’s potential and progress within and outside and see where the country reaches,” he said, while addressing reporters from all mainstream media organisations.
“Freedom of press does not mean freedom to tar institutions and pointing out, during the annual anniversaries of the WW2 French surrender, that the French army had surrendered,” he said.
The Army Chief also had some harsh words to say against the Yellow Vest movement. “I would like to say to them that a lot of their demands are genuine but they should not cross red lines.”
“Some of the language that they are using is absolutely unacceptable,” he said. “Where have they come from? Who is doing their funding? From where have these Pashteen caps come from all of a sudden?”