(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ATLANTA/RAIPUR – Journalist, politician, fashionista Najam Sethi, who is set to be roped in as next James Bond after the glamorous promo of his television show, is currently undertaking freelance political assignments, The Dependent has reliably learnt.
Sources close to Sethi have revealed that with the local political market down, the former Punjab Chief Minister is currently busy puncturing global state elections as a freelancer. The most recent examples of Sethi’s involvement in rigging state elections have come in the US and India.
This explains why Stacey Abrams, democratic contender for the state of Georgia in the November 6 election, on Wednesday accused Sethi of derailing her historic campaign to become the first female African-American governor of Georgia through punctures.
In a press conference outside her campaign headquarters, Ms Abrams said, ‘Oye Najam Sethi! You have a history of stealing elections from the rightful winners and are a cunning mastermind carrying favor with all sorts of governments and news channels. I’ll sue you for one hundred crore dollars in the Supreme Court of Amar Sadhu for this treacherous act”.
Abrams vowed to stage a three month long sit-in if there is no recount in four counties surrounding Atlanta. Head of Minhaj-ul-Islam International, Tahir-ul-Qadri has called upon his followers in Mississauga to stage a long march towards Atlanta to join the sit in.
Remotely joining Abrams and Qadri will be the Bharattiya Janata Party’s (BJP) Raman Singh, after his surprise defeat in Chhatisgarh elections on Tuesday. The BJP leadership from Madhya Pradesh and Rajasthan is also expected to join the protests against Sethi.
“Oye Najam Sethi, paintis panchure in Chhatisgarh?” exclaimed Raman Singh while talking to reporters after his defeat in the state elections.