(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
WASHINGTON – US President Trump on Wednesday warned House Democrats not to “waste taxpayer money” on investigations of his administration, saying he would respond with discontinuing wasting taxpayer on elections.
The US president’s comment, in one of a series of post-election tweets, comes as Democrats prepared to take over control of the House, where they are poised to scrutinise Trump administration policies, prompting the president to scrutinize the very idea that anyone should be able to scrutinise him.
“If the Democrats think they are going to waste Taxpayer Money investigating us at the House level, then I will likewise be forced to consider the point of holding the pointless exercise of elections. Two can play that game!” tweeted Trump.
In a separate tweet Wednesday, Trump also warned “pundits and talking heads” against not “bowing down to him for the performance of Republicans on Tuesday’s ballot.
“To any of the pundits or talking heads that do not bow down to me for this great Midterm Election, just remember two words – Nomore Elections!”
“Mr. Trump has magic about him. This guy has magic coming out of his ears. He is an astonishing vote getter & campaigner,” Trump further tweeted.