Starting now, state will make example out of lawbreakers, no wait, starting now: Afridi | Pakistan Today

Starting now, state will make example out of lawbreakers, no wait, starting now: Afridi

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

The federal state minister for interior affairs Shehryar Afridi came down hard on miscreants in a press conference on Thursday when he said that starting from that very instance i.e that of the then ongoing press conference, the state will make an example out of lawbreakers.

However, he trailed off as an aide explained into his ear (not knowing that the microphone was picking his voice up) that the TLYP activists have done more looting in several towns across the Punjab.

“Starting NOW, I meant,” continued Afridi. “Starting NOW, the state will make an example out of lawbreakers.”

The minister also asked another aide to wipe the time-value part of a whiteboard in the interior division’s Situation Room that had read “Not Challenge To Writ of State Since _____ Days” to “zero”.

“Everyone, I am serious, starting from NOW, I mean right this instant, there shall be absolutely no challenge to writ of state, nor should anyone be allowed to incite violence,” he said passionately. “I MEAN it!”

STOP PRESS: Shortly before this story went to press, the minister reset the ultimatum once again after there were some more unequivocal, specific incitements to violence by several TLYP leaders. Concurrently, TLYP activists broke into the interior division at the Civil Secretariat, Islamabad and snatched the minister’s lunchbox while constantly maintaining eye-contact with him.

THIS IS A DEVELOPING STORY.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.



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