(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
NEW DELHI – The Bharatya Janata Party (BJP) led government in India has made Virat Kohli the chairperson of a special committee tasked with finding fans of Pakistan cricket team among the local Muslim population, The Dependent has reliably learnt.
Kohli, who is the captain of the Indian cricket team, will be taking charge of the BJP’s broader ‘Go to Pakistan’ movement designed towards facilitating the local Muslims into neighbouring Pakistan should they feel the need to demand their rights.
According to reports, Kohli has already started working on the assignment having asked fans to ‘live in other countries’ if the like batsmen from other countries.
“That this was in response to comments on Australian and English batsmen shows the same subtlety in executing this task that Kohli displays in his drives with the bat in his hand,” noticed an observer.
However, sources within the BJP are anxious about Kohli’s approach give that he spoke about fans of batsmen from other countries.
“Even the most hardliner of Muslims would find it hard to be a fan of Pakistani batsmen, especially over their Indian counterparts,” said a senior BJP leader while talking to The Dependent.
“But given how Kohli loves challenges, he might even dig out fans of Umar Akmal and Ahmed Shehzad to help the government’s movement,” he leader added