(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Clashes erupted in Beijing after authorities clamped down on an estimated twenty thousand protestors who had gathered at the historic Tiananmen Square to appeal to the Chinese authorities to let them join the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaaf (PTI) and for it to be given charge of the country’s affairs.
“As is the norm with PTI supporters, they did not even want democracy. In fact, they want for the one-party system to remain. They just wanted for that one party to not be the Communist Party of China anymore, but the PTI,” said Dr Faiza Hassan, professor at the Area Studies Centre, Punjab University and the country’s premier China expert.
“They say they were extremely impressed by the intellect, moral fortitude and abdominal muscles of the party chairman,” she said.
The crackdown, which started in the wee hours of the morning, was too much for the local police to handle and the local commandant had requested the People’s Liberation Army to assist in quelling the subsequent riots.
“But again, as is the norm, the army seemed to be soft on the PTI,” said Dr Hassan.
PTI chairman Imran Khan has asked the protestors to remain calm but has not ruled agreeing to their demands.
This is a developing story.