(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Responding to general disdain about the writ of the state, chief of the ruling Tehrik-e-Labbaik-e-Ya-Rasoolullah (TLYR) party has allayed fears by reiterating that his writ has not been challenged.
“Yes, there was some violence for a couple of hours by some miscreants but we managed to control them in time,” he said, while speaking to reporters at a press conference. “I would like to tell the nation that they should not worry. Things are very much under control.”
Regarding the issue of the negotiation that took place the other day, he asked the public to relax and look at the bigger picture. “There is no need to be churlish about this. At the end of the day, these are our own people,” he said. “And there is nothing wrong in talking to the saner elements within them.”
When asked about the rumoured new tax plan, he said that taxation is one of the basic attributes of governments. “We would like to assure the public that the taxes won’t be too steep.
Plus, the public has to take into account that soon, they won’t be having to pay the other bits of random that they are paying to the miscreants these days, going by the archaic names of GST, IT and cess.”