Award-winning Pakistani singer and philanthropist Hadiqa Kiani, who adopted a child as her son in 2005 from the Edhi Foundation after the 2005 earthquake, recently called out those who suggest her to get married for the sake of her child.
Taking to Instagram, Hadiqa shared a thread of stories in which she asked her followers to respect single parents and their parenting capabilities and not force them into relationships they are not interested in.
“Something I see in my inbox a lot that I’m sure many women experience in our society as well,” Hadiqa began, before proceeding to share the screenshot of a message sent to her by a man.
“Hello Hadiqa. I want to marry you, I know you have a child,” read the message.
Sharing her thoughts on the message, Hadiqa wrote, “The notion that the single mother is a victim needing your pity or love is beyond me. The fact that men like this think that I, or any woman, is desperate for marriage because she has a child is disgusting.”
“Having a child is not a disability. Its an honour and a privilege,” she asserted.
Hadiqa further called for people to “stop shaming divorced, widowed and separated women.”
“Stop using the child of a woman as a way to romance her or as a way to force her into a relationship because this society makes it seem that single mothers aren’t capable of raising children on their own.”
To all the women reading this, Kiani said, “It is your job to encourage and uplift your fellow women, not judge her or force her into a relationship just for the sake on a relationship.”
Recalling her own experiences, Hadiqa shared, “When I chose to adopt, I was told by many that it would ruin my chances of remarrying. I know other women who have been harassed by family members and people in our society. Being told that they must find a father for their kids.”
She said that though “amazing men” were present in the society, “there are evil men who take advantage of a single mother’s children. The same relatives who tell you to remarry never seem to mention those men.”
Hadiqa elaborated that her reason for saying all of this was to tell people to “respect the single mother’s capabilities as a parent.”
Responding to all those followers so sent the 44-year-old singer messages of support and encouragement, Kiani wrote, “I love all of you who are responding right now.”
However, she said that such messages do not bother her much because she has a career and a family which has allowed her to stay away from such people. However, her purpose for writing this was to help those who do not have a support system.
Addressing the divorced, widowed and separated women, Kiani wrote, “You are strong and capable.”
“To the children of such incredible women, you are the reasons your mother has lived. Make her proud.”
“To the men who are kind and virtuous, continue shining and spread your ways to your brother.”
She signed off saying, “Let’s make this world better.”