(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
NEW YORK – A blog post published on HuffPost (or Huffington Post) dated June 31, 714 AD, which has massive significance for Pakistan, has recently surfaced. The blog has been written by Imad-ud-Din Muhammad ibn Qasim ath-Thaqafi, known more commonly as Muhammad bin Qasim.
Bin Qasim, known popularly as the first Pakistani, and hence by default the first founder father of Pakistan – a state that eventually came into being 13 centuries after his death – in his blog addresses what he dubbed were ‘overseas Pakistanis’ and informed them about their responsibilities.
“In my radio address to the nation, Khalifa-General Muhammad bin Qasim – which is me – has appealed to already overseas Pakistanis to deposit money in khilafat fund,” reads the blog.
Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf leader Shahram Khan Tarakai, the minister of local government, elections and rural development in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, has tweeted the piece.
Historians have dubbed the surfacing of the blog a crucial milestone given that it reaffirms the long held belief that bin Qasim was indeed the first Pakistani and self-identified as such as well.
“What it also introduces is the idea of ‘overseas Pakistanis’, which in early 8th century, could only have meant Muslims around the world, further reaffirming Pakistan as the hub of Islam, making every single Muslim around the world a Pakistan whether they like it or not,” said a leading historian, wishing anonymity.
Bin Qasim’s Huffington Post blog has also established the reality that Muslims were blogging almost a millennia and a half before the infidels got hold of the technology. Leading bloggers have noted Bin Qasim’s use of emoticons as way ahead of its times.
“The frequent use of the ‘:P’ smiley, makes you wonder if Bin Qasim was actually being sarcastic in a tongue-in-cheek article,” CJ Jones, a prominent blogger and influencer pointed out.
Chief Justice of Pakistan Saqib Nisar has taken notice of the blog and urged sarcasm experts to discern Bin Qasim’s intended argument, based on which he would be formally inducted as the first Pakistani or the first Pakistani traitor.