(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – After five years of having to do nothing owing to a combination of hierarchy, system of governance and party policy, outdoing president Mamnoon Hussain is relieved that he now has the breathing room to do nothing out of his own free will.
In an exclusive interview with The Dependent, Mamnoon Hussain expressed satisfaction with his performance and passed on valuable advice to his successor.
“I am fully satisfied with how honestly, dedicatedly and professionally I did nothing,” Mamnoon said. “However, truth be told it became a bit compulsive and repetitive, and I just wanted to finally be able to do nothing in a personal capacity, and not as the President of the Pakistan, out of my own free will,” he added.
The outgoing president congratulated his successor Dr Arif Alvi and advised him to continue to build on the legacy of doing nothing that is synonymous with the post he has been elected on.
“I do realise that it would be hard for you to do nothing, while simultaneously keeping yourself low profile like I did. But what’s more important is the doing nothing bit, than the ability to pull it off as charismatically as I did,” he advised Alvi.