(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
The federal minister for information and broadcasting Fawad Chaudhry has said that the rumours circulating about Khawar Maneka utilising government-owned helicopters are absolutely false but he should be given some time to verify.
“I absolutely denounce the malicious allegations,” said the government spokesperson, speaking at a press conference at the PID in the Information Enclave, Islamabad. “I mean, sort of. I sort of denounce them.”
The minister furthermore added that he should be given the opportunity to not only defend the government but also take time to verify whether the defence was, indeed, merited.
“I know it is impossible to put a number on such things, but I can tell you that I am 80 per cent sure that these rumours are false,” he said. “You can say in the 65 to 80 per cent range.”
“I don’t want a repeat of the Rs 55/ kilometre thing,” he said. “And let me take this oppurtunity to salute those tigers of the PTI who were and are still supporting me on that issue.”