Categories: NationalThe Dependent

Medical report finds no traces of honey, oil in Sharjeel Memon’s blood

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

KARACHI: No traces of honey and olive oil have been found in the blood samples taken from incarcerated PPP leader Sharjeel Inam Memon, medical report revealed.

The need for testing Memon’s blood arose when Chief Justice Saqib Nisar on Saturday, played an overprotective dad and, conducted a ‘raid’ on a room of Dr Ziauddin Hospital in Clifton, which was declared a sub-jail/hotel room by provincial authorities, where Memon was staying, and found ‘liquor’ bottles there.

“There is no alcohol in the bottles. But the bottles contain honey, olive oil and anything but the forbidden beverages. Don’t believe us? Taste it yourself,” Memon’s personal driver said while speaking to the media in police custody.

Memon had been under treatment and in judicial custody at the Ziauddin Hospital’s Shirin Jinnah branch. “I was told make myself feel at home in my sub-jail,” Memon later explained.

He was sent to Karachi’s Central Jail soon after the discovery of alleged liquor bottles in his room. “We had no clue there was a party going on. If we know, we might have joined them and did a everyone-brings-one-dish-thing,” police and hospital authorities said while playing cool.

Sindh authorities and police were shocked at the CJP’s ‘raid’. If chief justice is going to do all the fancy work, we might as well start hearing suo motu notices, they told each other.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.

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