(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
LAHORE – Punjab Information Minister Fayazul Hassan Chohan on Thursday night clarified his position on Adolf Hitler being his favourite leader by saying that the Nazi leader was actually only his favourite mass murderer.
Talking exclusively to The Dependent, Chohan said given his personality and his passions, he could understand where he had erred.
“Being the expletive laden, morally degraded creep, with appreciation for just about all of the most gruesome of acts, I have always been inspired by mass murderers,” he said.
“This is where the confusion crept in. There is a character limit on one’s Twitter bio so I couldn’t find space to underscore that Hitler was actually my personal favourite out of all the mass murderers that I have, or have had, a thing for,” he added.
The Punjab Information Minister also revealed that he has T-shirts of all his favourite perpetrators of genocide. However, he further clarified that Adolf Hitler was his favourite mass murderer and not just favourite murderer.
“If we’re not talking about genocide, and limiting ourselves to a single killing, my all-time favourite murderer would of course have to be Mumtaz Qadri,” he said.