(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – The recently elected Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf (PTI) led government has announced a previously unheard, unprecedented, groundbreaking new policy ‘Pakistan first’.
Unlike many previous governments that announced policies ranging from ‘Pakistan fourth’ to ‘Pakistan thirty-seventh’, and in some shameful instances ‘Pakistan last’, this latest policy has clarified that Pakistan will be number one on its list.
While the announcement was made by Foreign Minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi, the policy is believed to have been implemented across the board and will govern all the ministries.
Many observers suggest that the policy that takes the pain of saying ‘Pakistan first’ has absolutely no reason to not put Pakistan first.
Others insist that any scepticism that critics might have with regards to the policy should be shelved, failing which should the policy not succeed it would be solely owing to the failure of the critics to warm up to the unprecedented revolutionary anthems.
“Some people are even suggesting that they have heard this policy before, but they are all sellouts – antinational sellouts,” said renowned analyst Haroun-ur-Rasheed while talking to The Dependent.
“And even if they have somehow managed to hear these words before, the way the new government is saying it is unlike anything this nation has ever heard or seen,” he maintained.