(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
LAHORE – Former International Cricket Council (ICC) president Ehsan Mani — who has been nominated for the position of Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) chief by the prime minister — on Tuesday said he was not in a position to comment on matters involving Pakistan cricket or the PCB since he was not elected yet.
“I don’t think you should be asking me questions regarding the future of Pakistan cricket or what I will do as the PCB chairman since I am not the PCB chairman as things stand,” Mani told the media while orchestrating the off-loaders and telling them where to place his furniture inside the PCB chairman’s office.
“I will work on improving domestic cricket for which I have short and long-term strategies. I will also wipe out nepotism from the cricket body. I will dig out the best talent in youngsters and will give them a chance to prove themselves at the international level,” he said while telling off one off-loader for not putting the possessions of Mani’s predecessor Najam Sethi outside the room.
“These are all the things I will only be able to say once I am elected as the PCB chief. So how about we do all this again? Say next Friday?” he added, asking everyone to just get out of the office, taking it upon himself to place the furniture as he deemed best.