Crap, says US physician after anaesthesia wears off | Pakistan Today

Crap, says US physician after anaesthesia wears off

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

An alarming situation arose on Saturday morning for Dr Imran Malik, a US-based Pakistani doctor, when he went over the contents of the video message he had released the day before, after the effects of the anaesthesia that he was under the influence of wore off.

“Sh*t! Sh*t! Sh*t!,” he said, when he saw the video on his phone.

“What the hell have I just done?!”

The Chicago-based Neonatologist had made a video declaring that both him and his wife were going to leave their current jobs, after having spent 10 years in the US because he were inspired by the “revolutionary vision” of PM Imran Khan.

“My wife, my poor wife, it wasn’t even her idea,” he said, tears running down his eyes.

“And this house, I just paid my last mortgage. Have you even seen this lake?”

“I posted that video because I wasn’t in the right place. Whenever I have a tough day at work, I occasionally have some of the stuff to take the edge off,” he said.

“I overdid it and here I am.”

“This is a fine mess that I’ve gotten myself in,” he said.

“I would have said my mom and dad are going to kill me but it’s going to be my wife. She is the one who is going to kill me. She’s a neurologist and worked much harder than me to get where she is.”

“And doesn’t. Use. Bloody. Anaesthesia!!”

“Stupid Imran! Stupid Imran! Stupid Imran,” he exclaimed while banging his head against the wall of his office.

The Dependent

The above piece is a work of satire and does not present itself as the truth.