(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – In a message clearly sponsored by the PML-N, former wife of Prime Minister Imran Khan wished her followers on Eid through twitter.
“Eid Mubarak to all of my followers” said the former Mrs Khan on twitter, in a move for which she had clearly taken money from the PML-N.
“Stay blessed, stay safe. Xoxoxo” she went on to say in a statement clearly in line with the PML-N’s narrative.
Supporters of the PTI went into an outrage following the statement, as once more Reham Khan has clearly taken money to do the bidding of the Nawaz League.
“We have proof that Reham Khan has taken money for this statement and it is meant to promote Nawaz Sharif and defame Imran Khan” said Information Minister Fawad Chaudhry in an emergency presser held after the bombshell statement.
“By saying things like ‘stay blessed’ and ‘xoxo’ she is clearly touting the propaganda of the PML-N. I urge our party workers not to fall for this trap, and to trust in our government.”
“We also have proof that the money was given directly to Reham by Nawaz Sharif, in person and in cash through the secret tunnel he has going on under his Rita Hayworth poster.”
“Yes that’s right. We in the Federal Government also follow the robust reporting of The Dependent” he said nodding with a bedazzled smile at our correspondent at the presser, making him blush profusely.
“We also have proof that it was one gazillion thousand dollars” added Fawad Chaudhry, probing the scandalous development beyond doubt with these spicy details.
“No we cannot give you the proof, you just have to trust us” he said in answer to media questions.
“The Prime Minister and I have also been offered millions by the PML-N to write Eid greetings on twitter, but we have done nothing of the sort” he ended.
This is a developing story, and was filed only because The Dependent’s Editors do not believe in giving reporters Eid holidays.