(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION – A top secret study carried out amidst all the risks to life that one can and can’t imagine has revealed that Internet Explorer is at least 6.66 (rounded off to the nearest decimal) times fast than the RTS used by the Election Commission of Pakistan in last month’s elections.
The study conducted in the basement of a leading research institute shocked those carrying it out, some of whom are among the sharpest – albeit anonymous – minds that this country has, The Dependent can confirm.
“We were confident that we’d hit the 10 mark, but I guess we were really underestimating the RTS,” one of the senior researchers told The Dependent, desiring strict anonymity.
While the final compiled study is still safe with the researches, the results have been leaked and reached the upper echelons of the state’s judiciary.
A senior judge, who is getting a lot of media attention these days, in his usual tone of annoyance Tuesday thundered at the electoral commission in a meeting over the alleged failure of the transmission system on Election Day.
The system developed by the National Database and Registration Authority (Nadra) was planned to be tested before the ECP decided to use it without prior tests on July 25.
The judge said the commission spent millions of rupees on a technology seemingly alien to the staff assigned to compile polling results. He added an alternative should have been developed to act as a backup.
“Even Internet Explorer which takes more time than The Undertaker’s entrance is better that this technology!” the judge shouted at the top of his lungs.
Sources have confirmed, that Chief Justice of Pakistan Justice Saqib Nisar will take suo motu notice against the abovementioned judge for copyrights infringement, and refusal to abide by recent guidelines.